So what informs our idea of Modesty?

Modesty.

so what informs our modesty

I can see my 16 year old self rolling her eyes.
I picture the mother in her denim jumper, the Muslim girl at the pool, and the scantly dressed “nurse” on Halloween.

One has her nose in the air, the other is told the sight of her skin is an excuse for a boy to abuse her, and the other wants to feel beautiful and wanted.

Modesty is misrepresented.

I posted this article this week with this question:”What do you think of the ‘Christian modesty rules’? Should we give our daughters rules? Should we teach them the theology behind modesty and let them decide?”

Immodest Proposals: The Rules

I got a lot of responses to the question and I got a lot of laughs from her post. As Christians I think we need to address both the rules that are becoming hilarious and the way we are responding to the lists. Thank you to all of those who responded and added to this difficult conversation.

When I was in Junior High and High School the question was: “As Christian teen girls how should we dress?” unfortunately that skips over so much of discussion that should come first and it was usually followed by a list of dos and don’ts. Much of our conversation was about drawing lines instead of searching our hearts.

How did God create Adam and Eve?
Naked and unashamed. (Gen 1:26-28; 2:725)

Why can’t we still be naked?
When Adam and Eve sinned they became aware of their nakedness and hid. GOD CLOTHED THEM in the skin of an animal that he killed to cover their nakedness as a picture of the blood of His Son that he would send into the world so that we could be forgiven and CLOTHED with Righteousness. Therefore our clothes are a constant reminder of our sin, Christ’s blood, and our NEED to be CLOTHED in HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS so that we can stand in the presence of a Holy God. (Gen 3:21; Is 61:10; Zech 3:4)

How should we as Christian women dress?
To the Glory of God. (1 Cor 10:31, Westminster Catechism Question 1)

You are probably thinking, “Wow, that’s as clear as mud.”
And you are right!!! There aren’t lists of what is modest and what is not in the Bible. The Immodest Proposals list is just a comic way of showing how culture informs our views of what is modest and what is not. In fact in Uganda their are some places it is more “acceptable” for a woman to be topless then to show her knees in a short skirt.

What does it look like to dress to the glory of God? Well we know that the Holy Spirit dwells within us as Christians and we are also told we are ambassadors for Christ. We represent Him all the time. Growing up I went to many high school athletic events and as an ambassador for NC, it was inappropriate to wear green (the color of the cross-town rival). Just last week I had a green vest on and my mom told me to change before the game. In the same way we represent Christ in what we wear.

My 3 year old is all about asking “why” and I am trying to teach him that it is great to ask “why” but he needs to obey even if he doesn’t understand. The same goes with rules of how to dress. I think we should ask “why” and maybe the rules will change, but until then it is glorifying to God to obey the people God has put in authority. I will admit that I have not always succeeded at this, so if I ever disobeyed your rules, I’m sorry!

1 Timothy 2:9 is one of the few verses that speaks to how we dress. Timothy says that women should dress respectable and with self-control. So when we get dressed we should let our theology inform our dress.

To the woman with her nose in the air:
You were dead in your trespasses and sins, just as dead as that other girl, and you needed to be clothed in the righteousness of Christ. Your modesty needs to be a result of that not a good thing you do to earn favor with God. (Titus 3-5-7)
Just to be clear a woman with rules is not the same as a legalistic woman.

*and to the daughter of that woman:
standing naked in front of your husband is not a bad thing. God created us naked in Eden and has redeemed nakedness in marriage. Marriage after all is a picture of Christ and the Church and before God we stand with NO SHAME.

To the woman who is told that a man has the right to rape her if she doesn’t cover up:
When Eve held the apple out to Adam and he took and ate. HE WAS RESPONSIBLE (Gen 3:12) and his answer that the woman gave it to him did not hold water. I’m not saying that it isn’t important to love our brother by dressing modestly. It is important. Love for others is definitely glorifying to God, but men are always responsible for their own sin.

To the girl who is dressing to gain approval:
It doesn’t matter if you are wearing a denim jumper for your parents approval or a bikini to gain the approval of your friends and boy friend. You are clothing your self with fig leaves in hiding rather than coming to Jesus who will clothe you with the Righteousness of Christ because of His blood so that you can stand with approval in the presence of God. (Eph2:8-9) It is a heart issue: are we desiring the approval of people or desiring to please God. If we so deeply desire to please people, then we should check our heart because we are thinking, “God is not enough.”

There is an immodesty epidemic because we have a sin epidemic. We first need the hearts of women. Women need to know Jesus Christ and be filled with the Holy Spirit.

*parents should have rules/ guidelines for their children because as parents we are to train and guide our children. Especially for young children it is most loving to give specific “rules” to follow instead of being left wandering to figure it out on their own. (Prov 22:6)
I love a quote that my friend Jess shared with me from Stacie Johnson, “Having rules to follow is much easier than having to think about the reasons behind the rules.” We need to have rules because we do not think great thoughts about God as often as we should, when we start consistently thinking about God the rules will not matter because everything we do will be to bring Him glory.

I’m sure there is plenty I have missed, this is a huge topic and a long discussion. What would you add about thinking rightly about modesty?

The First Month

 

1 monthHow is it that the last month of pregnancy feels like six months and the first month of baby’s life goes by in a flash?

1monthMicah and Julia are captivated with our little man! Julia is still telling me that she is “so excited” that he is out of my belly:) Her vocabulary brings us daily giggles. I think she is stepping up her comedy to fight the middle child syndrome. IMG_0097This month has been crazy with adjusting to “staying awake a lot” as Matt fondly calls it, Julia and Micah having the stomach flu, getting snowed in, and getting Matt ready to fly to Uganda on Monday.

It has been wonderful to have so much help, and I was ready for the transition from 2 to 3 to rock our world. There are more “mom help”s, more diapers, more mess and less quiet, but in some ways it has been easier than the transition from 1 to 2. Micah and Julia can play together while Elliot is nursing, I have fully embraced the beauty of Netflix, Micah has been a huge help since he is older, and as I am writing this I realized our transition from 1 to 2 was in Uganda and the conveniences of America have made more of a difference than I thought. I love mac-n-cheese and chicken nuggets that are ready in 1-1 1/2 minutes.

playdohWe have played with Playdoh A LOT! And stayed in our jammies on these cold winter days. We have survived and that was my goal for this first month!

JamberryMy biggest advice for new moms… do your nails! I have my super cute new bangs pinned back, haven’t brushed my hair, have no make-up on, most of my clothes don’t fit right, but as I watch myself change the 15th diaper of the day or get the 17th sippycup I fully enjoy the little bit of fun and beauty and I for a second feel like I have it together:)

Now I know why half of my mom friends are selling Jamberry!

Happy weekend!
Kayla

 

Support Update- Change Ahead

We sent this out as an email, but for those of you who aren’t on our email list we want to let you know about the change ahead for our family.
Hello Friends and Supporters,

I realize this update is a bit overdue and for that I apologize. To be honest, I have not been sure how to update you all but we do sincerely appreciate all your prayers for us during Kayla’s pregnancy and birth. Elliot is now two and half weeks old and is healthy and handsome! Micah and Julia are great with him, and it has brought us a lot of joy to welcome him into our family.

IMG_5300 _MG_5180

In our last update, we asked you all to be praying for sensitivity to the Lord’s will for our family. That update was sent out January 11 and I am going to explain how the Lord has answered your prayers and ours as well.

Through much prayer, discussion, and more prayer, we will not be returning to Uganda, and will transition back to the US. eMi has been very gracious to us as we have had to communicate some difficult things with them over the last months and has released us from our service in Entebbe with much encouragement and support. This decision was made final last Friday (Feb 20) in a skype call with the East Africa office director.

The last year has been a challenging one, and as many of you are aware, our move to Entebbe has placed a huge strain on our family. I had a hard time realizing that while we were in Uganda, and by His mercy and grace, we were able to come back the US for, what we originally thought, the birth of our third child. But after being back, the Lord gave me some much needed perspective on our situation and I was able to honest about some things with the Lord, with myself, my family, and with eMi. Through a lot of difficult conversations, we came to the conclusion that the Lord was leading us away from eMi.

The two main reasons for this change are:
1. The priority of the eMi construction management program is building projects for partner ministries. We had understood that these construction projects are a means to  training up men in discipleship with the Word of God. There is ministry happening on the job sites, but not in the way that we expected. When we moved to Entebbe we realized this in a new way. This caused us to ask a lot of questions.
2. I have realized my passion for the local church and discipleship. I am so thankful for the opportunity to work at our home church while we have been in Casper. God has led and multiple people have confirmed that I should attend seminary with the goal of pastoral ministry.
We are very much at peace with the direction of things and I have to say that I have not witnessed God answer prayers in such an uncommon yet perfect way in my years as a believer. We have a lot of question marks for the future but the thing that we are certain about is the Lord is calling us into full time, pastoral type ministry. I also will be working on getting into seminary as soon as possible.

There is so much more to this story than what I am able to explain in this email, and I would be happy to answer any questions you may have.  I truly appreciate those who have been faithfully praying for us as we have been a bit private over the last month.
So for this update, our praises are:
God has answered our prayers and given us a direction for the future
Kayla had a healthy delivery, and Elliot has been a huge blessing
I have found a great opportunity to serve in our church as intern pastor

And our prayer requests are:
Matt will be traveling back to Uganda in the near future to pack up and say farewell; Pray for solid closure and for a lot of logistical details.
Decision about where to attend seminary
Stability and peace for our children

Again, thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
For the King,

Matt, Kayla, Micah, Julia, and Elliot Horne

Family of 5

I’m back!
I have been waiting for my computer to be fixed (Julia put 2 DVDs in the slot) and for Elliot to be born, but decided it was time to return!

Here is our growing family! We are so blessed by these three little gifts from God. I already can’t imagine life without Elliot and he is barely over 2 weeks old.

_MG_5319Elliot Douglas Horne was Born on Feb. 6 at 4:21 pm
21 inches long8lbs. 10 oz
His birth was very uneventful and after having a baby in Uganda I was amazed at how much the nurses asked about my comfort. The hospital just finished a new maternity and baby wing and it was amazing! We praise God that everything went so smoothly.

_MG_5157 _MG_5338 IMG_5229 _MG_5165Julia wasn’t so sure about being a big sister, but that wore off after a day or two. Julia and Micah are loving being big siblings and enjoy helping and holding Elliot.

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Micah turned 3 on February 22. He is all about Jake and the Neverland Pirates!_MG_5343

Julia inherited my ability to talk; my family has named her blah blah the 2nd. _MG_5360Happy Monday!
Kayla

Favorite Books of 2014… and a Giveaway!

 You and me Forever

You and Me Forever- Marriage in Light of Eternity
I enjoyed this book so much that I wrote them and asked for one to giveaway on this blog and they sent me one! So here you go… Enter to win! And check out my review here.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Women Living Well
Courtney Joseph starts with the Word of God and helps women see the importance of it in their personal life, marriage, and motherhood. She point out pitfalls and gives biblical advice to walk with God through the challenges and blessings of life. It is very practical without being overwhelming.

Women of the Word
I think this is one of the most important books for all Christian women, but especially new Christians. It is a fantastic resource for studying God’s word effectively to know Him more not just gain knowledge.

The Hole in Our Holiness
“Be holy for I am holy” is being hidden away by many Christians today not wanting to offend, but joy and hope are being hidden away with it. Holiness is a vital part of the Christian life and can not be achieved merely by human effort.

unPlanned
Abby Johnson tells her story of wanting to help women. She started at Planned Parenthood to do just that, but after years and changes in herself and the organization she left. She got in her car and drove straight to the pro-life center down the street. Her story gave me understanding and compassion for people and issues of both sides of the fence. She glorifies God with her submission and trust in Him.

Fit to Burst
“If you find yourself in bed at night tallying what has been lost to you, you need to let go of that list.” Our children take from us all day long, but are we giving ourselves to them, and more importantly are we allowing Christ to fill us so that we have the right things to give? Rachel helps us to think theologically about motherhood.

I wish that I had more time to read because I love grabbing a cup of some goodness and sitting down with a good book. Unfortunately I am not in a stage of life for that. I usually read while the kids are in the bath or happily entertained with play dough for five minutes. I used to read before bed, but now I can’t make it through a paragraph before my eyes close forcing me to choose sleep instead.

I love getting suggestions for books because I definitely don’t take time to read a book just to see if it is good. So leave me a comment with your book recommendations!

 

 

Giving great gifts

I was wide awake in the middle of the night just before Thanksgiving with my mental Christmas shopping list laid out in front of me. Having a one and two year old is easy. I could wrap an empty box or a roll of bubble wrap and they would feel the “Christmas magic”. But as I worked through my list of loved ones my list remained almost blank. I thought about how much I love the people on my list and the gifts I was dreaming up fell short.

I decided it might be easier at that hour to think of things I wanted for Christmas since that seamed it might come easier at 2 in the morning. But it didn’t. I realized the things I want aren’t things. I might enjoy a book on prayer, but what I really want is a fruitful, honest, and rich prayer life. I want my children to enjoy Jesus and glorify Him with their lives. I want to be a godly wife, mother, and friend. The things I want can’t be nicely packaged with a bow to be unwrapped on Christmas and I started thinking that if I felt that, then the things my family want aren’t things either.

About to scratch the idea of gifts all together I had a thought… but Lindsey Carlson  said it much better than my unclear thoughts in the middle of the night.
“Both giving and receiving reflects God’s heart for his people. While God gives his children spiritual gifts like love, power, victory, hope, peace, and deliverance, I’m not sure how to wrap those up to stick under the tree. Yet giving presents can demonstrate the same greater spiritual truths in a tangible way.”

I am not the great gift giver, but I can be a reflection of His generous giving. It would be mistake to stop trying to love people knowing that my love will always fall short. It would be a mistake to stop speaking truth knowing that my understanding and unclear speech will always fall short. And so it would also be a mistake to stop giving gifts because my gift giving will always fall short.

The gospel is the perfect gift, not just on the day that the darkness became light, but everyday after as we are sanctified and transformed by the light. “so that you are not lacking in any gift, as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.” 1 Corinthians 1:7-9

Our gift giving is temporary and His will sustain until the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Our gift giving will fall short, but God is always faithful.
But we can give as a reflection of what He has given us, Eternal Life, in Christ Jesus our Lord!

So when I open presents and when I teach my children to open presents this year I hope we can all look past the wrapping paper and bows which will all be cleaned up by this time next week. I hope that we look past the reflection into the reality of the great gift giver because the things we want aren’t things but what we have given is better than anything we could ever ask for. The gospel that saves is the gospel that sustains and we need that gift everyday.

Merry Christmas!

Suckers for Basketball

One of the best things about being the oldest is getting to watch my “little” siblings grow up into such amazing adults (or almost adults). We took the kids on a road trip to watch Kristy in Gillette and Jordan in Rapid City. Our kids have some great heros!

Suckers

After chasing them around at the first game, we got smart, handed them each a sucker and enjoyed the game!

The traveling made me appreciate all of the games my parents came to and the long drives they made just to watch and cheer.

 

Kristy basketball Jordan basketball Jordan takingitHardrockersHere is to much more basketball this season! I think we will need to buy more suckers:)

 

December Happenings

18 monthsI can’t believe our baby is 1 and a half! 

Favorite Food: fruit, but she will eat just about anything

Most often used sentences: Where is Micah? What are you doing?

Favorite Book: Chicka Chicka Boom Boom

Loves being outside

Is our comedian

Loves animals

Isn’t so sure about the cold

Loves having guests over

Loves her papas

Loves to sing- Abc’s, Jesus Loves Me, Holy Holy Holy…

julia

Some Wyoming hunting

Micah and goose hunting

Christmas Cookies

Micah cookies decorating

Books

Julia and JaJa

And lots of family and friends.

Today completed the last 6 week goals and thankfully we are over jet lag and happily back in WY. I have already been to 3 appointments for baby Horne. And had to call my dad and tell him he was right after the doctor prescribed medicine for the fungus I contracted in Uganda that I was sure was just dry skin. Between that and sitting in the waiting room for less than 5 minutes I am having no doubts about coming back to America to have this baby:)

Next  6 week goals:

Enjoy the advent season

Enjoy the last few weeks as a family of four

Enjoy getting ready for baby #3 to arrive (and pick a name for him)

Enjoy the Word of God- memorizing John 3&4

Enjoy the time we are getting to spend with  our family and friends in WY

Happy December! Are you ready for Christmas? How are you enjoying this busy time of year?

What to buy for baby

What to Buy for Baby

Being intentional with baby purchases is the goal. You can have a baby without breaking the bank!
What does the baby NEED to survive?
What do I NEED to survive?
What would make my life easier?
Is it worth the space and time it will take to maintain it?
What few “cute” things will melt my heart and help me enjoy this baby more?

Know “Why” you are buying the things that you buy, not just because everyone seams to have it. And if everyone has it, maybe you can borrow instead of buy.

Diapers– cloth or disposable
-I’m a fan on Thirsties size 1, Econobum, and just bought a few Bum Genius pocket diapers plus diaper inserts and snappis
Wipes
Dealing with Diapers– Wet bag if you cloth diaper, diaper genie or other sealing trash system
-Having a large wet bag plus a smaller one for the “diaper bag” is best
Diaper cream 
-Butt paste and Aquaphor are awesome. Get disposable diaper liners if you are using cloth diapers.
Sleepers
-This is by far the easiest thing for babies to wear especially if it is cool/cold. Tip– the zippers are easier than snaps.
-I made fun of the ones with an open bottom (like a night gown) with our first but loved them with the second.
Onesies
– These are my favorite! Carter’s all the way…
Pants
Socks
Jacket/Cardigan
Blankets
Car seat
Bed
      -We are a very mobile family so I love just using a pack-n-play then they have the same bed where ever we are. I can move them from our bedroom and back when they are teething, sick, or going through a bad sleeping stage. That isn’t for everyone, but you don’t have to have a crib.
-I also have a co sleeper that I am excited to use with this baby! It is nice to have some kind of bassinet for the first little while. Tip-They are usually easy to borrow from a friend!

Carrier
-I love the Moby for infants and Boba after that. I have considered the ring sling and know many people that love them.

Bouncer
– I brought mine to Africa when I had to leave other essentials at home. nuf said.
Rocking chair or ball
– I used a birthing/ exercise ball and it was just as good if not better for rocking babies to sleep or calming the fussiness.
Pacifiers and a clip
– It is nice to have a few different kinds before you stock up to find out what they like
Burp clothes
– newborn diaper inserts or Gerber pre-folds are the most absorbent.
Thermometer- I have a forehead thermometer in my cart because I am sick of fighting kids to get a temperature.

Baby soap
Infant medicines and/or essential oils 
– lavender and digestzen are my favorites for the littles
Nursing pads
Lanolin cream
Nursing bras or sports bras if you are breastfeeding
Nursing cover
Breast pump
Bottles 
Bottle brush
Formula if you are formula feeding
Formula container for diaper bag 

Be on the same page with your husband about a baby budget!
This is the area of finances that I tend to struggle with- kid stuff. Am I the only one?

I can justify it because…
kids “need” clothes and look how cute this is…
it was on sale…
so and so has it…
have you ever seen anything cuter…

Women, this is an area we need help in! We are hiding things from our husbands, being foolish with our money, and disobedient to God. And we brag about it to each other.
I am not saying, “Don’t buy nice things.”
Consider this like any other financial category- make decisions as a couple and live within your means.  (I am totally preaching to myself- Zulily it has been real.. we are going to have to stop seeing each other as often)

Enjoy shopping and preparing for baby! Imagine the first time you will hold him/her wearing the little sleeper, but do it with the blessing of your husband and within your budget! Lets be an encouragement to each other instead of encouraging each others foolish spending.

Check out the rest of the checklist for enjoying your third trimester of pregnancy.

What baby essentials would you add to this list?

Not in Uganda Anymore

It has been one week since landed in America and I still find myself and my family thinking or doing things and then we remember we are not in Uganda anymore. One of the most important are my constant reminders to Matt while driving which lane he should be in (I’m sure he is really appreciating it)… more than once I thought he pulled out into oncoming traffic only to realize Americans drive on the “right” side of the road (no pun intended)

There is a dark spot on my in-laws hardwood floors that Julia keeps returning to.. sure that it is a bug. At first it was an ant but since we have assured her it is not an ant, it has turned into a cockroach. Sorry girl, those bugs don’t survive in these Wyoming temperatures.

Yesterday I got my blood drawn which is one of my favorite things in the whole world! ha ha! While the nurse was getting ready and then penetrating my bubble with a sharp needle, Matt was kindly distracting me with all of the Ugandan annoyances that we didn’t have to go through to get to the doctor. As the nurse was turning viles of my blood back and forth in her hands, I saw a wave of fear cross her face. “Uganda wasn’t one of the places infected with Ebola… RIGHT?!” As much as I wanted to see how far I could push her… I didn’t want to end up in quarantine. Note to self… Don’t tell American medical staff that you have just returned from Africa.

When the sun goes down that does not mean it is time for bed. When it gets dark in Uganda at 7pm (+/- 10 minutes) all year long we start putting the kids to bed and winding down for the night. Unfortunately 5:30 betimes make for very early mornings!

I went Black Friday shopping … and there was no security guard to make sure that my belly is not a bomb… and I didn’t pay with cash… and the options were a bit overwhelming.

Julia has worn fleece footie pajamas for the first time in her life.

Micah cried when his hands started burning from being so cold in the snow.

Micah told me it was thundering… nope that is wind.

We ate pizza twice in one day.

I heard a 90’s boy band on the radio and it made me think of Uganda.

Micah tried to walk to the car without shoes on… and then began yelling at me to hold him.

We are so glad to be in America but still not completely used to being here. Some of it has been quite comical… the joys of thousands of miles and 10 time zones.